Is It Really Fall?

Oh how I love thee! I love the fall! I don't know when I actually started to love it, maybe last year. For the longest time, I despised fall for that is when Jacob got his angel wings. I no longer associate his death with fall- so I know all see the beautiful things fall brings along with all the wonderful tastes and the smells-- oh the sweet wonderful smells of fall. Come on- don't try to act like you don't know what I'm talking about!! Pumpkin

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1.03.01

Amazing Photographers

You all need to check out these amazing photographers. These ladies took our family photos in June. We absolutely loved the pictures and best of all they were wonderful to work with and even better- they did such an amazing job working with our not-so-easy boys!
www.christineelisephotography.com/blog

God's Plan

i wish i could see God's plans! before jacob's death, i only knew one other family who had lost a child and that sweet baby went to be with the Lord just days before jacob. in the almost 7 years since jacob's death i have had 6 yes 6 other friends who have lost their children as well. 3 of those friends i have never met in person- i've met them online (and talked to them through emails and facebook) through other friends of mine. why??? why did my son have to leave soo soon? why do i have to know this pain? why do children get sick?
no parent should have to watch their child die.
no parent should have to make memorial arrangements for their child.
no parent should have to celebrate what would be their childs birthday at a grave site.
no parent should have to dread every wednesday or every september 24th.
no parent should have to decorate a grave site at halloween, easter, thanksgiving, & christmas
no parent should have to scream as they watch their child take their last breath
no parent should have to pick out the outfit their child will be laid to rest in.
no parent should have to figure out how to live again, breathe again, laugh again
no parent should have to endure the I'm sorry's, at least he's in peace, and all the the other
things people say even though they mean well


yet- parents go through this all the time. when did god ever tell us we wouldn't endure pain. when did god ever promise us that our children would outlive us. the thing is he never did. i need to remember this. god never promised me any amount of time with my children here on earth. i need to remember to keep my focus on him so one day i will be rewarded and i can once again be with jacob and also hold my other babies i never had the chance of meeting.

Biggest Loser

so i just decided to join my mom, david, christie, robin, and ashley in doing a biggest loser competition. its a twenty dollar buy in. hopefully that will motivate me a little bit more to get this weight off. i am so tired of being this heavy!! i hate not having energy and getting tired so fast - its a bummer when trying to play with the boys. i love to be active and go outdoors, but this weight has really made it hard and to be brutally honest- embarrassing! so here's to losing weight! bottoms up- water that is!!

4th of July Pics

Happy Birthday America!

O! say can you see by the dawn's early light,
What so proudly we hailed at the twilight's last gleaming,
Whose broad stripes and bright stars through the perilous fight,
O'er the ramparts we watched, were so gallantly streaming.
And the rockets' red glare, the bombs bursting in air,
Gave proof through the night that our flag was still there;
O! say does that star-spangled banner yet wave,
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave?

On the shore, dimly seen through the mists of the deep,
Where the foe's haughty host in dread silence reposes,
What is that which the breeze, o'er the towering steep,
As it fitfully blows, half conceals, half discloses?
Now it catches the gleam of the morning's first beam,
In full glory reflected now shines in the stream:
'Tis the star-spangled banner, O! long may it wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave.

And where is that band who so vauntingly swore
That the havoc of war and the battle's confusion,
A home and a country should leave us no more!
Their blood has washed out their foul footsteps' pollution.
No refuge could save the hireling and slave
From the terror of flight, or the gloom of the grave:
And the star-spangled banner in triumph doth wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave.

O! thus be it ever, when freemen shall stand
Between their loved home and the war's desolation!
Blest with victory and peace, may the heav'n rescued land
Praise the Power that hath made and preserved us a nation.
Then conquer we must, when our cause it is just,
And this be our motto: "In God is our trust."
And the star-spangled banner in triumph shall wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave!

I Love finding Old Photos

well there not so old! Although I was excited the other day when I broke out my scrapbooking things after 5 years of being tucked away and I found pictures of Jacob. Brought back some memories, most of which brought tears to my eyes. I wonder if there will ever be a day when I don't cry looking over pictures. I still see him in my dreams, not a day goes by that I still don't think of him, I still long to see his smile, hear his laugh, and feel his kisses. I still long to hold my baby boy! I will forever be grateful for the time I had with him, forever be thankful that the Lord trusted me to hold him for the time I did, but I will be forever sad, hurt, and heartbroken that I only had him for a short six months.

I cant' wait to scan the pics and be able to share them all with you!
Hopefully that will happen today!

The Fair

the boys and I had so much fun at the fair! I loved going here as a kid and was so excited to take the boys this year! only wish Rob could have been there with us!



caleb and I waiting while the boys were on a ride.




sammy and silas on a helicopter ride! boys will be boys!


silas so excited after he came off of his first ride


sammy eating his pizza on a stick!

Pictures

I have to update pictures!

Caleb at Legoland.
Does this boy resemble anyone you know (for those of you that knew me 7-8 years ago)









Silas at Legoland with his
spiderman face.





Sammy with his spiderman face at legoland.













Caleb- 6 months baby feet!

Today's A New Day!

Woke up this morning ready for a new start! I made us breakfast, took a massive amount of vitamins, and already had a bottle of water! Got the laundry started and the dishes loaded.

Vitamins I am taking: prenatals, vitamin B, fish oil, yeast (a total of 6 pills a day to help with breastmilk production), calcium, and folic acid. YUMMY (sarcaism intended!!)!!

My goal (for today) is to drink 4 bottles of water. I want to get up to 6-8 bottles of water. During workouts I want to drink another bottle. So if I do the workout I would like to do I could actually be drinking a total of 10 bottles of water! Oh please fat fall off!

My overall weight loss goal is 55lbs, yikes, yes 55lbs. I would like to lose 30lbs before Rob gets home. EECK- I know I can do it- I just need to get my butt in gear. I will try to blog everyday about my workout, diet, and water intake. Than once a week I will blog about my actual weightloss.

Wish me luck and please free to get on my butt about this!

Really Missing Jacob Tonight

There the boys and I are, driving down the I-8, heading home and out of nowhere it hits me like a ton of bricks! The tears start pouring and I can't help but feel lost, out of control, depressed, overwhelmed, irresponsible, and a failure. I MISS JACOB!! His death, even now almost 7 years later changed me so much! As a mom- it changed me in a negative way I feel like. Gonna be honest here and state how I feel: I am NOT the mom I want to be or ever pictured myself being! I don't know how to get back to that! I think that when Jacob died and although I became pregnant with Sammy just two short months later, that part of me died. HOW DO I GET BACK???

BLESSED TO MOMMY TO MY BOYS!!

Sammy gave me a run for my money this morning! I was beyond frustrated with him by the time I dropped him off at school 13 minutes late, I could hardly see straight! We had a long talk on our way to the school, you know in that block and a half (that I drove) about him being responsible and helping mommy and not causing more problems. Hoping that it worked, I sent him into school! Lets say can we say NO, IT DIDN'T WORK!! He got his name on the board with checkmarks next to it. He lost all of his free time. But at the end of the day- I LOVE LOVE LOVE MY BOY!! HE IS SO VERY SWEET, HE TRIES TO DO THE RIGHT THING, ENERGETIC, SMART AND BEST OF ALL HE'S MY KID!!!
CALEB my sweet lovey baby boy! He is such a good baby! He is holding his own bottle, when he gets one. He can sit up. He can roll from tummy to back and back to tummy. He is not moving around yet though (which there are some days I am thankful for that!!). He likes to jump in the jumperoo and he loves to play with his cousin, Zachary! I LOVE LOVE LOVE MY BABY!! HE IS SWEET, PLAYFUL, LOVES TO GIVE KISSES, LOVES HIS BIG BROTHERS, AND WHATS BEST OF ALL -- HE'S MY BABY!
SILAS is still working on the potty training. He has had only one accident a day for the last 4 days. He still wears a diaper at night. We are getting there- one day at a time! He is so frustrated with not going to school! He gets so MAD at Sammy because Sammy goes to school and he doesn't. This boy has such a temper on him! Oh my its bad- he throws stuff (oops did he get that from his mommy), he kicks, hits, destroys things. But at the end of the day--I LOVE LOVE LOVE MY KID!! HE IS PROTECTIVE, INDEPENDENT, AND SUCH A LOVEY AT NIGHT WHEN HE IS READY FOR BED AND BEST OF ALL HE'S MY KID!!!

Back to Update...

HaHa..so how long have I had this blog and I have finally figured out how to change the font!
So now I am going to have to test them all out to see what I like best!

I will start off with Silas this time, since I was able to complete Sammy's update the other day.

Silas--oh where to begin with this boy! He is now in gymnastics and most days he loves it. He is taking classes at the YMCA. He goes two days a week. We are almost to the end of the second session. Soon we will be adding swimming to the mix. Silas is working on potty training, some days are better than others. We'll get there (someday)!! LOL!!

Caleb, my sweet baby! He is growing up way to fast. Can you believe he is just about 7 months old already. UNBELIEVABLE!! He is sitting up now. He was rolling over, but has decided to not to do that anymore. He loves to play with other babies. He enjoys watching his big brothers and just laughs and laughs at them. He is now 15 1/2 lbs and is 26 inches long. He has tripled his birth weight in 6 1/2 months. He is becoming quite the chunker, with the rolls multiplying by the day! I just love it!! Caleb's genetic testing that he had done in April came back negative (good news). He goes back to cardiology a week from tomorrow to have an echo done.

Rob is getting ready to leave in a few days for what will be a long 7 month deployment. We have been busy getting all of his stuff together and getting different things done around here. He is still awaiting orders to his next command. We are hoping to find out this week, where we will move to next. On April 24th, he re-enlisted for another 6 years. This will be his last contract with the Navy, unless he decides to stay past 20 years. Can you believe he has been in this long already? We are so blessed that Rob has a job that he loves to do!!

I guess it's my turn now...hmmm where to start. The FRG has been keeping me quite busy lately, which will continue for the rest of the deployment. I am getting ready to start woodworking. Pretty crazy, I know! I am hoping to build some shelves. I have started to buy the material already. I am also getting ready to start sewing cloth diapers for Caleb. I bought all the materials yesterday. I can't wait to start -- hopefully that will be this week. I plan on keeping us busy this deployment in hopes that will make it go by faster. I can hope can't I??

Rob was able to take almost 2 weeks of leave, so we did a stay-cation. We went to Legoland. The boys love it there! We went to Disneyland Resort for 3 days. We only went to Disneyland for 2 days. We caught up on doctors appts, and dentist appts.

Not Very Good About Updating These Days!

Must be something about the days. I have been checking all of my friend's blogs and it seems that we are all behind. I will attempt to catch up, well let me correct that, I will update a little bit on what all has been going on.

Sammy is getting so "old", he is starting to grow up. I love that boy so much! He, though, is really starting to test his limits. He is now getting into the "lying" stage. I am definitely not liking that at all. The other day Sarah, my sister, caught him and the other kiddos doing something. I called for him. He came in and instantly was saying he wasn't doing it. I had to remind him that mommy's and daddy's always know when they are lying. Finally to get him to tell the truth, I had to say: "Before you say another word you need to remember that God is listening to what you are saying". The truth came out immediately. It is amazing watching him become his own person.
Sammy had his last t-ball game on Saturday. He still needs practice, but has been doing wonderful! I am so proud of him! I love watching him play. He has a great arm on him.

Well so I thought I would catch you all up on everything, but Caleb is calling for his momma! Little stinker he is- I think he is in a growth spurt- all he has wanted to do today is eat!!

Till next time- I hope everyone is doing well! We love you all and make God continue to bless you all!

I'm Walking For Healthy Babies!!

Tomorrow is the big day! Samuel, Silas,Caleb,and I are walking in the Walk America. We couldn't be more excited about this walk. This walk and March of Dimes is very close to our heart. Having had two premature babies and another baby that had birth defects that proved to be fatal, we know how important the work is that March of Dimes is doing. We have been blessed that our two premature babies are now home healthy. Without the research that March of Dimes has completed in the past, Silas and Caleb probably wouldn't be here today. It is the goal of March of Dimes that every baby be born on time and healthy! Let's get rid of prematurity!!

If you have sponsored me in this walk --thank you so much!! If you haven't, please consider sponsoring me. You still can at www.marchforbabies.org/leschfamily

April 2010

Really, I know I've said this so many times this year already--but jeez time is flying by!! The boys are growing more and more everyday! Caleb is now 12 1/2 lbs. He just started eating on Sunday. What I mean by eating is, he gets a meal every evening now. He is doing carrots and cereal this week. Next week we will introduce squash. Caleb is rolling over, trying to sit up, babbling, and laughing non-stop.

Beautiful Days Ahead

This year seems to be really flying by! Rob is only home for another 46 days before deploying, that doesn't mean he is deploying in 45 days that is only the number of days he still has at home. I am not looking forward to the deployment. I definitely know that I will be busy seeing as how we have a ton of activities scheduled with the Family Readiness Group. The boys are growing up so dang fast. Caleb is now rolling over from tummy to back and is trying to sit up. Sammy and Silas are getting so independent, makes me kinda sad when I think of how fast time is flying and how they are just getting so big so fast.
Caleb had his genetic testing done yesterday. We should know the results in 7 to 21 days. I don't want to know, I wish I could just pretend nothing is wrong. He goes in for his sedated echo on June 7. that is when we will know the full details of his heart problems. UGHHH

Doesn't everyone know the bigger event today is Jacob's birthday, forget St. Patricks Day.

Hard to believe that 7 years ago today I gave birth to my first born son. Robert Jacob Lesch, known as Baby Jake. He was born at 12:03pm at Portsmouth Naval Medical. He weighed 7lbs and 12.5oz and was a whoopin' 22 1/2 inches long. He had my heart, my whole heart, from his very first breath. Never had I known such a love before. I was totally changed in that instance, forever. Blessed was I!! Although his life here on earth was very short, he changed the world forever because he changed the lives of a few people during this life and continues to change them now as people here his story. Although today is a bittersweet day (bitter cause he's not here to celebrate, sweet cause he was here)- I am choosing to be happy! Instead of focusing on the amount of time he hasn't been here I am choosing to focus on the time he is here! The time he was here was more magical and special than I could ever ever put into words! Today we are celebrating his birthday by going to pick up cupcakes (we are going to try to send one to heaven for him), release balloons, take him flowers, and go to "his birthday" dinner at TGI Fridays. Pictures will probably be tonight or tomorrow of "his" party. Definitely celebrating the life he had here on earth!!
Happy Birthday Sweet Baby Jake!! We love you and Miss you More than you would ever know!

Caleb eating ceral for the first time- March 1, 2010-

Feb 28

On Feb. 28, 2010 Caleb turned 3 months and 28 days. With each of our boys, we have had their picture taken when they were this old. It all started with Jacob. That just happened to be how old he was when he got his pictures taken, so when Sammy was born, I wanted pictures done the exact same way and at the exact same age. The tradition carried on with Silas and now with Caleb. Caleb was a little different though. We went to Picture People (which is where all of the other pictures were taken) and they have discontinued the blanket. I was so upset, we finally decided to go buy the same exact color blanket and take the picture ourselves. So the picture is definitely not as good as the others, but thats okay. Here is Caleb at 3 months and 28 days.

La Jolla Cove

We took a drive that was a whole 15 minutes away to see the seals at La Jolla Cove. It was definitely overcast and a bit chilly when we went so we didn't stay long. The young man in the picture with us is my "nephew" Timmy.

Is it really March 15th already???

Sammy on the pitcher's mound


The Color Guard


Helicopters doing a flyover during Opening Ceremony

Sammy at the Opening Ceremony in front of his team banner

The Yankee's

It was so adorable watching these kiddo's play. At one point, the ball came straight to Sammy and he went to scoop it up and all of a sudden there are a bunch of kids basically tackling him. He was on the bottom of the pile up.
I hope you enjoy the pictures! Oh and the videos!


More pictures and videos to come! He has another game on the 20th!

Some Days Just Suck!!

Today we found out that my friend's (Stephanie) 6 week old baby, Logan, lost his battle and went home to be with the Lord. This little baby put up so much of a fight to be here. My heart is just breaking for Stephanie and her family. Although we are across the country from them, we were blessed to have followed his little life online and see pictures of this little baby. Heaven sure did get one cute little baby angel today. I don't know how heaven works or what it's like up there, but I do believe and hope that my Jacob was watching over us and knew we were praying for this little guy. I hope he is showing this little one all around up there! Please pray for Stephanie and her family! So sad she joined this horrible club I belong to!

Our February So Far

I really need to get better at posting blogs. I do good for a while than I become a slacker. This has been a busy month for us so far. It has been nice though!
We started our month off with Rob going to VBSS school. He was taught how to board merchant ships, close quarters battle (combat), search the ships and cargo, id personnel,and detain people. He can now go "fight" pirates. Sammy and Silas just love knowing that their daddy is going to help get rid of the pirates. Rob was exhausted everyday after coming home from this school. In a three week period he lost a total of 10 pounds. I don't know how he did that with as much as he ate during the period.
A few days into the month, my mother-in-law came to visit. It was so nice seeing her again, we haven't seen her in two years. The boys just loved having "Grandma Lyn" here. She gave them their bath every night. She was also here for Silas' third birthday. Yes, his third birthday!! I can't believe how big and old my baby is getting. He had his birthday party at Pump It Up. All of his little friends were there along with most of our family. He had so much fun!! The next day Lyn left to go back home. So sad were my boys!!
Just a few days later was Rob's 31st birthday. That night we had kabobs and a cake for him. This past Friday we went bowling on the base with my family to celebrate. We all had a good time bowling. The three musketeers (Sammy, Silas, and Jackson) absolutely LOVED bowling. Of course, I forgot my camera.
Poor Silas on Thursday night cut his hand open with a knife. Yes, I am a horrible mom! I can't believe how it happened. We have had gates blocking our kitchen off since we moved in here. That day I broke on of the gates and my nephew tore down the other gate. I had just received a shipment of Pampered Chef items including the guilty knife. The knife was pushed back on the counter still in the plastic wrapper with a knife guard on it. It is a pretty green color and I guess thats what attracted Silas to it. So he got it out of the wrap and it seems that while he was taking the knife guard off of it, his hand was cut. He cut it in between the thumb and index finger in that fatty area. So off to the emergency room we went. Due to the location of the cut he couldn't get it stitched. So instead they glued it shut, sterry stripped it and wrapped it up. Today we took off the gauze, the strips came right off, and it is STILL open. So the glue didn't work. Guess I have to call on Monday to make a doctors appointment to do a wound check. He was such a tough little guy and really didn't cry.
Caleb is growing so big! He is 22inches long and weighs 8lbs 13oz (at his last appointment on the 5th). He is working on holding his head up better and he is NOT sleeping at night. He loves his brothers. They are constantly coming up to him to give him kisses. He also loves to be held in the Moby wrap. He doesn't seem to like being in the ring sling anymore. He thinks he is too big for that now.

I think that gets us updated!! I will add pictures later!

Happy Valentine's Day Everyone!

WOW it's 2010 already!

I can't believe it's 2010 already!! And at that we are already half way through the first month. We are back to our usual active lives. Sammy went back to school today. Rob and I started back at Liberty University yesterday. I am hoping this will be a better semester than last!!
We spent our new year with friends: The Firecks and The Lee's. We had a good time playing Partini and eating (of course)!! The boys all stayed up to watch the ball drop. We always have such a good time with those two families.
We have a busy year ahead of us. Rob is doing workups in order to prepare for his deployment in June. Sammy starts T-ball up next month. I should know in a week to two weeks if I will be the team manager and I may also be the FRG president for Rob's ship. For those of you who don't know what that is: Family Readiness Group. The FRG does the family support stuff while the guys are deployed: support group meetings, fundraisers,half way parties, homecoming parties, and other get togethers. Silas is also going to start playing t-ball here soon. We are planning a trip to Guam in May to visit some really good friends, who we were stationed with in Great Lakes. In April, Rob will start to pick where we are going to next. We should be moving in a year, only time will tell.
Caleb just had his two month well baby appointment. He now weighs 7lbs and 11oz. He is such a little guy. He is now wearing newborn clothes- yes at almost 3 months old, he is wearing newborn. Guess we are getting good use out of our clothes! He is now sleeping 5-6 hours a night. Once he wakes up after that time period he gets up every 2-3 hours to eat. We are still trying to get on some sort of schedule with him. But really it's like he's a newborn still. We'll get there, eventually!
We have so many praises this month- not for our family but for friends. As many of you know we have been praying for two babies this past year. Judah who was born in August at 24 weeks, his due date was the same as Caleb's. The Lord has definitely watched over this little guy and he just went home on Thursday. He is finally at home with his daddy and mommy!! He has an amazing story already! The other little one we were praying for was our friends Josh and Stephanie. Their little guy Logan was born just two days before Christmas with some major life threatening problems. He is now doing really well. He is still in the NICU, but it looks as if his stay will hopefully be coming to an end in the next couple of weeks. He was one very very sick baby who we were all really worried, he wasn't going to make it. The Lord definitely healed this little guy and gave him the strength to continue fighting.
Please continue to keep these two little guys in your prayers! I am sure it will still be a long road ahead of them, but Lord willing not as long as the road they've already been on!!