God's Plan

i wish i could see God's plans! before jacob's death, i only knew one other family who had lost a child and that sweet baby went to be with the Lord just days before jacob. in the almost 7 years since jacob's death i have had 6 yes 6 other friends who have lost their children as well. 3 of those friends i have never met in person- i've met them online (and talked to them through emails and facebook) through other friends of mine. why??? why did my son have to leave soo soon? why do i have to know this pain? why do children get sick?
no parent should have to watch their child die.
no parent should have to make memorial arrangements for their child.
no parent should have to celebrate what would be their childs birthday at a grave site.
no parent should have to dread every wednesday or every september 24th.
no parent should have to decorate a grave site at halloween, easter, thanksgiving, & christmas
no parent should have to scream as they watch their child take their last breath
no parent should have to pick out the outfit their child will be laid to rest in.
no parent should have to figure out how to live again, breathe again, laugh again
no parent should have to endure the I'm sorry's, at least he's in peace, and all the the other
things people say even though they mean well


yet- parents go through this all the time. when did god ever tell us we wouldn't endure pain. when did god ever promise us that our children would outlive us. the thing is he never did. i need to remember this. god never promised me any amount of time with my children here on earth. i need to remember to keep my focus on him so one day i will be rewarded and i can once again be with jacob and also hold my other babies i never had the chance of meeting.