Pictures

I have to update pictures!

Caleb at Legoland.
Does this boy resemble anyone you know (for those of you that knew me 7-8 years ago)









Silas at Legoland with his
spiderman face.





Sammy with his spiderman face at legoland.













Caleb- 6 months baby feet!

Today's A New Day!

Woke up this morning ready for a new start! I made us breakfast, took a massive amount of vitamins, and already had a bottle of water! Got the laundry started and the dishes loaded.

Vitamins I am taking: prenatals, vitamin B, fish oil, yeast (a total of 6 pills a day to help with breastmilk production), calcium, and folic acid. YUMMY (sarcaism intended!!)!!

My goal (for today) is to drink 4 bottles of water. I want to get up to 6-8 bottles of water. During workouts I want to drink another bottle. So if I do the workout I would like to do I could actually be drinking a total of 10 bottles of water! Oh please fat fall off!

My overall weight loss goal is 55lbs, yikes, yes 55lbs. I would like to lose 30lbs before Rob gets home. EECK- I know I can do it- I just need to get my butt in gear. I will try to blog everyday about my workout, diet, and water intake. Than once a week I will blog about my actual weightloss.

Wish me luck and please free to get on my butt about this!

Really Missing Jacob Tonight

There the boys and I are, driving down the I-8, heading home and out of nowhere it hits me like a ton of bricks! The tears start pouring and I can't help but feel lost, out of control, depressed, overwhelmed, irresponsible, and a failure. I MISS JACOB!! His death, even now almost 7 years later changed me so much! As a mom- it changed me in a negative way I feel like. Gonna be honest here and state how I feel: I am NOT the mom I want to be or ever pictured myself being! I don't know how to get back to that! I think that when Jacob died and although I became pregnant with Sammy just two short months later, that part of me died. HOW DO I GET BACK???

BLESSED TO MOMMY TO MY BOYS!!

Sammy gave me a run for my money this morning! I was beyond frustrated with him by the time I dropped him off at school 13 minutes late, I could hardly see straight! We had a long talk on our way to the school, you know in that block and a half (that I drove) about him being responsible and helping mommy and not causing more problems. Hoping that it worked, I sent him into school! Lets say can we say NO, IT DIDN'T WORK!! He got his name on the board with checkmarks next to it. He lost all of his free time. But at the end of the day- I LOVE LOVE LOVE MY BOY!! HE IS SO VERY SWEET, HE TRIES TO DO THE RIGHT THING, ENERGETIC, SMART AND BEST OF ALL HE'S MY KID!!!
CALEB my sweet lovey baby boy! He is such a good baby! He is holding his own bottle, when he gets one. He can sit up. He can roll from tummy to back and back to tummy. He is not moving around yet though (which there are some days I am thankful for that!!). He likes to jump in the jumperoo and he loves to play with his cousin, Zachary! I LOVE LOVE LOVE MY BABY!! HE IS SWEET, PLAYFUL, LOVES TO GIVE KISSES, LOVES HIS BIG BROTHERS, AND WHATS BEST OF ALL -- HE'S MY BABY!
SILAS is still working on the potty training. He has had only one accident a day for the last 4 days. He still wears a diaper at night. We are getting there- one day at a time! He is so frustrated with not going to school! He gets so MAD at Sammy because Sammy goes to school and he doesn't. This boy has such a temper on him! Oh my its bad- he throws stuff (oops did he get that from his mommy), he kicks, hits, destroys things. But at the end of the day--I LOVE LOVE LOVE MY KID!! HE IS PROTECTIVE, INDEPENDENT, AND SUCH A LOVEY AT NIGHT WHEN HE IS READY FOR BED AND BEST OF ALL HE'S MY KID!!!